Monday, May 27, 2013

The Super Grover Mommy that wasn’t

Yeah, that about sums up this weekend. Or, rather the last 4 days. I was doing really well at the beginning of the week, keeping the house clean, getting chores done, feeling well. I even was able to exercised twice! I know! It was a miracle. And then I ate tacos… and cracked a tooth… and it hurt really bad. And I got a “lil’ bit” grumpy. And then I had to go to the dentist and get that tooth worked on. And that hurts a bit too. But it a good way, like it’s going to be ok. And it was just a little crack. So, that was really good too. That was Friday. And then, well, I got bit by a spider.

Nasty gross spider bite. It’s big and swollen, bruised and painful, and makes my feel weird and so tired.

Now, back to the fact that it was a four day weekend for Riley. Oh, and let’s not forget that it was Emma’s last day of preschool. Coupled with the fact that we had to say good bye to Allen’s younger bother and his family (Emma and their oldest have been in preschool together). But mostly, let’s get back to the fact that Riley was home for 4 days straight… And this Super Grover Mommy wasn’t feeling so super. In fact, this Super Grover Mommy would have really liked to spend all day in bed. But this was not to be, sigh.

I did get to lay down a few times (thanks honey) on Sunday. This helped, and going to bed early helped too. What I was really having a hard time dealing with was all the noise and activity around, you know, the chaos that is young children. And my sweet Riley… oh, yes. He was very challenging this weekend. I’m not really sure what had gotten into him. He was pushing everyone’s button. Frankly, he was making me feel just a little, ok big bit, CRAZY!

We took them swimming, twice. We let them ride their bikes, went the the park. So, I hope that when they look back and remember this weekend it’s full of fun memories. Like making cookies with mommy, and splashing in the water. That Beka remembers having time with daddy and getting to snuggle up watching one of her favorite movies. I hope Riley remembers that we found him a new bike, and not the million times we told him to be quiet in the van.

Seriously, what I can’t take, more than anything is riding in the car. It makes me so mad, cranky, nuts, and want to scream and yell when we are in van together. Just thought of going anywhere, even the store makes me want to cry. Seriously, I have cried trying to get everyone to the car. It’s the constant fighting, name calling, kicking the back of the seats, spiting, hitting, name calling, SREAMING, yelling, leaning over into someone else’s space, bringing tons of toys and books just to leave them in the van until the van is so messing no one can get in or out of it. Well, it can make even the calmest individual scream.. and I’m not the calmest. I end up feeling worn out and near tears by the time we get home. I guess, this weekend has left me feeling overwhelmed by everything. And sometimes, the thought of “Why oh why did I think having so many little ones would be such a good idea”…

And then I go to get little Ephram out his car seat, and he is asleep. And he is so peaceful. So sweet. So calm. A warm feeling just comes over me. I am so grateful for him. I wouldn’t trade him for anything. He has brighten my life in so many ways. And it gets me in a better place… I wouldn’t trade any of my little ones for more peace. Ephram at 9 months with hat print

I wish I could say that this nice warm glow lasted though bedtime… I am afraid I lost my temper with the kids… but, I did sing them good night and tucked them in. Sigh. But a least tomorrow is a new day. An new day with no mistakes in it, yet. And tonight, in the quiet of the night, there is peace for my poor spider poisoned brain.

He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still. Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.

Psalms 107:29-30