The past two days have been interesting. I’m really working on this whole yelling thing, to only yell if it’s an emergency (like a car is coming on the street, or when my crazy 7 year old decides he is going to slide down the banister…). It seems to be working. Because I’m using my “nice” voice most of the time, when the emergency voice yells, the kids listen.
There is one area of our life that I’m really having a struggle with: the van. I’m not sure why my older kids think it’s time to fight over who gets to have the “blank” (this could be a toy, book, magazine, the middle seat belt, any thing). My sweet little Beka Boo turns into a screeching siren and kicks the back of my seat. Little E has finally had enough of the whole car seat thing and is crying. And in the middle of all this, I’m supposed to drive.
So, what is a Super Grover Mommy to do? I’m not sure. But, I’m trying a couple of things.
Yesterday was particularly trying as we had a lot of driving around town to do. As we were leaving a fun play date, my oldest was just plain being nasty. He was just yelling and being super defensive. Now, normally (before this challenge) I would yell at him to stop picking on his sister and just get himself in control; but instead I asked him if was hungry. “I’m STARVING!!!!” Bingo! Feed the beast and my sweet little man comes back. I bought him a sandwich on the way to the store (got myself something to eat too, nicely shared with the girls) and everyone was happier.
It was still a tough ride, and I have to admit to yelling at the kids at least a few time.. but at least I am taking steps to understanding triggers in the kids and how to stop them. Learning and relearning lessons!
This evening I decided it was a pizza night (mommy needed the night off from cooking). I told the kids that if they cleaned up the front room while I was ordering the pizza we could have a movie night. Otherwise we would be eating pizza at the table. Eating in front of the TV is a rare treat. They all worked together as I order the food. It was all going according to the plan in my head when I realized that I hadn’t change the order from pick to delivery. No need to panic! I told the kids what a great job they had done (using my enthusiastic voice) and that I’d made a mistake in ordering the pizza. We were going to have to pick it up. Cue the loud groans. But, we are going to go up stairs first and take quick showers (more loud groans). That way we can just “chill” after we get home and we can be SOOOO comfy! It went great!
We enjoyed eating while watching the movie. Sadly, the movie I had gotten from Red box wasn’t so good. We tired to use our Netflix, but it didn’t work either. So, we watched a little video on the computer and everyone went up to bed. I read to everyone (go Super Grover Mommy) and got everyone tucked in.
I was happy to have channeled some of my normal manic I have to control everything and everyone energy tonight. By controlling my emotions and keeping myself under control, I can point out my behavior when the kids get crazy. Little Beka said the sweetest thing to me on the way home with the pizza: “Mommy, you are so sweet and happy! I love you!” I asked her if I’d been a better mommy the last couple of days. She said “You a happier mommy”
I’m trying harder to love them as they are right now! It’s going too fast, and I don’t want to spend the time angry and flustered. I have noticed when I don’t yell, when I take a breath before reacting, there is more peace in my home. Please don’t get me wrong, my kids still fight. We have gone through more band aids than I care to admit to this week. We end the day with a bath because we have to, they are that dirty. I still get mad and irritated by the things they do. But, I am noticing a change in me. I’m trying to let go when things don’t go my way. It sounds so silly in my head to read it put like that, but that is really much of my problem. I have in my head the way things should go. And often it does. However, when it doesn’t look out! Stress kicks in big time. By letting go. Not letting little bumps get me totally crazy and manic (see Grover whenever something goes wrong) I am able to put that energy to better use!
So, my fellow Super Grover Mommies: We can change our world! One little moment at a time.