My kids are my most important audience
Kids are just kids; and not just kids, but people too.
Often times, I am the problem, not my kids
Taking care of me helps me to not yell
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post on my family blog. I titled it: Super Grover Mommy. In it I talked about how sometime I'm just not the mom I wish I were and that sometimes I get a little crazy... and sometimes (more than I want to admit to) things kinda sorta go really wrong. I sometime really screw things up. But I keep trying. It was a pretty clever post, and got me thinking about how I have been acting as a mommy.
Then, spring break happened...
Day 1: I knew I had a problem when my first reaction to this: was to yell. She pulled a shelf down on top of her. This particular shelf was a two long heavy shelves with all the wood puzzles and wooden dolls on top. She didn’t start crying right away, the weight had knocked the wind out of her.I stopped myself, and took a deep breath. Yelling was not going to help.
I realized that I am yelling at my kids... a lot. And they aren't listening. Really who would? This crazy person screaming and carrying on... the crazy person who is 'posed to love and care about you. That night I read this amazing blog orange rhino. She made a choice not to yell at her kids for a whole year. Tough, yes. But doable. This made me really think. I want my kids to remember me as their safe place, not the place where they are torn down all the time. I also hate the way I feel at the end of the day. I drag myself to bed, feeling down, worn out and guilty.Orange rhino wrote a few things that really struck me:
She has a ton of stuff on her website, but these were the things that stuck me the most.
The other thing that I read on her site that really stuck a cord was: Yelling is mean. It’s hurtful. And I don’t want to be that way anymore.
So, I’m taking the challenge: one day at a time.. no yelling
Day 2 of spring break:
I made a conscience effort not to yell. And life was better. I wasn’t perfect, but because I was choosing not to yell at the kids it was more peaceful. Things still went wrong, but I wasn’t as stressed about it, and so the kids weren’t as stressed.. I was pretty proud of myself when I walked in on a this (minus the shirt, I made her put that on) and didn’t start screaming. She had used a marker and colored all over her legs and opened all the candy from a couple of birthday parties all over her bed and floor. I calmly asked her to please put on a shirt. We cleaned up the mess together.
I didn’t yell when the kids started fighting. Dinner prep went so much smoother… So, maybe there is something to this not yelling thing. Sure going to give it a try!
And that’s the reason for this blog. I want to tame my inner Super Grover Mommy. I want to make that crazy manic energy work for me and my family instead of hurting. So who will join me? Making the world a more loving and happy place!
I can change my world one day, one moment, one choice at a time!